i wasnt careful look where i am now (hover over slices)

asinglegarbanzobeanonitaliantile:

me as a lawyer: kk that was rude . 

who needs bad friends anyways haha…..ha…

michaxl:

can bob the builder fix my crumbling life

peperomint:

So the lyrics to her are basically “pretty girl you dont need to do a thing bc ur already beautiful” and “dont even bother with boys who r just fuckin wit u for ur looks boys r dicks” and instead of “that girl is mine” its literally “baby im yours” like if i wasnt sold on block b before yall……..

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

kookie667:

Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

gypsystevie:

ppl who constantly radiate bad vibes are so exhausting like how are you always so that way

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

Pretty much everyone on tumblr.

sluttynuggets:

aphtaiwan:

johnhamishmorstan:

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

cornchipz:

daleksunshine:

danfreakindavis:

when you find that perfect gif but don’t know how to use it

image

You can reverse the flow of the hotdogs if you concentrate hard enough

oh my god you can

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